Of Flyers and Frills
by Aeneid
Summary: A simple visit to a maid cafe led to... unusual circumstances. Rated T for future content and heavy swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Maid prompt inspired by the cutest okikagu doujinshi I've read.

This is gonna be short, but I'll cut it up to shorter chapters because I can.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama. It belongs to Sorachi Hideaki.

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**Of Flyers and Frills**

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_{Part 1} of 5_

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It all started when he and Yamazaki were being productive members of society by roaming around the streets of Edo to do their daily patrol.

One random maid hanging about by the street corner had handed them a flyer about a maid cafe that had just opened, which was a few blocks away from the compound. While Sougo found the flyer too girly and did not even bother reading it, Yamazaki was all smiles. "Sir! Why don't we try to have lunch here?!"

"Are you serious, 'zaki? You wanna go to a _maid cafe_?" the whole police force knew that whenever Hijikata would channel his inner _otaku_, the first thing Tosshi would do was to head for the maid cafe in Akihabara.

Sougo was not gonna go to a maid cafe just to eat overpriced food. He likes to eat, sure, but he knows that cafes like that are very notorious for overpricing their food and drinks

"Why not? At least we can see for ourselves how it goes!" Yamazaki said it so casually that Sougo found no reason to object to what he had just said.

... If anything, he could always torture 'zaki for making him sit through a torturous lunch break in the silliest place to be.

Little did he know that he would get a surprise of his own.

* * *

"Welcome home, my masters! For two?"

What greeted them was China, speaking in a very polite manner (how the hell did she learn _keigo_?[1]), who was also clad in a short skirt baby blue maid outfit, complete with those thigh high white socks and rather tall black-colored heels. The sleeves of her outfit are short and puffy, and a head piece that matched the color of her outfit was placed on top of her head. Her hair, no longer restricted by those disgusting penis cups, is left hanging loose over her shoulders.

Oh, and did he mention the frilly white apron she over over the maid outfit?

Since when the hell did she start working here anyway?

"Oh, Chi-" before Yamazaki could complete his sentence, she had forced a palm over his mouth, effectively silencing him.

"I'm... Maiko [2]. And I'm the head maid for today." she said as calmly as possible, all the while gripping Yamazaki's face quite tightly, a vein threatening to pop on her forehead. "Please, won't you have a seat over at the corner?"

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Notes:

[1]keigo - polite Nihongo. Used by most Japanese in the service industry when talking to customers. Also used by people who need to be really formal to the person they're talking to.

[2]Maiko - as far as I know, a lot of those who work as maids in cafes don't give out their personal information, so they go by nicknames. I chose the name 'Maiko' because it literally means 'dancing girl', and 'kagura' is a type of a Shinto ritual dance. Closest thing I can come up with, yep.

Thanks for reading! Part 2 will be out shortly.


	2. Chapter 2

__**Of Flyers and Frills**

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_{Part 2} of 5_

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_WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?!_

Kagura, known as Maiko within the Cute Maid Cafe, was at a loss as to why that stupid sadist and that other plain guy had gone to the place she was temporarily working in, of all the dining places in Edo. Hell, sadist didn't even look like he was the type to go to maid cafes. To her shock and surprise, just when she was playing the head maid role that day to welcome the guests, _he_ came in.

What she immediately noticed was the way his eyes scrutinized her, the narrowing of those blood red eyes, as if checking out every flaw that was on her. As usual, she knew he was doing this both to unnerve her and piss her off. Someone like him, who was spiteful and a heartless monster, was out to ruin everything for her again.

The pay in this job order she would be doing for a few more days wasn't much, but the fun part of it all was that she had an excuse to be 'cute'. All the men in her life thought of her as this tomboy whose unique feature was her inhuman strength. What they always failed to take note of would always be her attractiveness. She guessed that it might have something to do with her being notorious, but to hell with them.

She was going to change their outlook of her.

... The sadist, of course, was totally not on her list.

* * *

"Are you ready to order?"

Lunch time, and it was a full house today. Despite being head maid, the owner had sent her out to the corner table occupied by the Shinsengumi members. As the other maids shot her looks of envy, Kagura did her best not to flip her right middle finger at both the maids and the said customers she would be serving. Anego told her time and again that a dainty lady, a maid at that, would never, _ever_ raise her middle finger... unless she was out of the establishment she worked in. Outside the establishment, it was fair game, and as long as she didn't wear the trademark baby blue maid uniform, she could beat up the disgusting customers to her heart's content.

"Ah, yeah, err... I'll get fried rice with the pork rib." said Yamazaki, who looked like he was nervous about something.

Kagura took out her touch screen device and tapped the said order. "Any drinks?"

"Melon soda." right after that, she turned to Okita. As much as she did not like the guy, she had to be polite and ask him in the politest speech and tone she could ever muster.

"And what about you... sir?" she asked, all the while gritting her teeth, mentally telling herself not to slip up and call him a jerk.

"... What are you doing here anyway, China?" he asked, not bothering with using the name she had used to introduce herself. "And since when did you do this stuff? Being a maid does not suit you _at all_."

"... Well, looks like you don't want to order." she bowed. "I'll be bringing over your food and drink in a while. Please wait." with that, she turned her back at them and proceeded to the other table she was assigned to, just near where the plain guy and him were seating.

What she didn't notice was how intense his stare was at the other table occupied by two overweight, sweating men who looked so damn excited when they saw her approaching them.

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Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Of Flyers and Frills**

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_{Part 3} of 5_

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A shiver ran down her spine when she was standing by the other table, just a few meters away from where the Shinsengumi jerk and his companion sat. Kagura ignored it, and during the time those _otaku_ had given out their orders (complete with their leery eyes and disgusting breath), the nagging feeling that something, or rather, someone was watching her made her feel uncomfortable. Either it was staring at her back, or at the two people whom she was serving… but whatever happens, she would not lose her cool nor quit.

She would complete the five day task assigned to her by their client, and she would take advantage of channeling out her inner cuteness—

"Hey, hey, Maiko-san, can we… play a game with your later?" asked the first one who was sweating profusely. She knew he was a big fan of the magical girl series as he was wearing a pink-haired _mahou shoujo_ from a popular series that was shown recently[1].

"Oh, yes, sure!" she tried to sound happy, though this was the part she was dreading while she worked in a café. Today is her third day in working for the cafe, and for the last two days, the two customers had been trying to win against her in the usual _jankenpyon_ (it was 'pyon' just to make it sound _moe_). So far, they had been unsuccessful, as she had always been winning for a total of twenty games so far. The prize for winning was a photo with the maid they had beaten, and it was just creepy that both of them seemed to be _very obsessed_ with her. "We can play after you eat your meal!" _And for a human, eating five main courses like a slob is just disgusting to look at_.

Sure, she could stand eating like a slob at the age of fourteen, but she had just reached the age of twenty, and _anego_ had always reminded her on how to be a lady, and that meant a lot of rules to follow.

… Though admittedly, bad habits were hard to break, and while no one was looking, she could be quite a slob.

"Okay then. I hope I win this time around." Said the male otaku as he suddenly averted his eyes away from her. "Can't wait to have my photo taken with you today, hehehe-"

_Business is quite good, thanks to you two._ Playing ten games (the limited number of times you can ask the maid for a game) for each day during those two days meant the café earned twenty-five thousand yen per day just by playing _jankenpyon_ with her. The owner was thinking of extending her contract, and though that would mean earning more money, Kagura didn't want to stay for too long. These two males were… becoming excessively creepy day by day, and though she knew she could take them out with her strength, the stares unnerved her.

_Come on… someone… anyone… order food, pay that stupid 500 yen, play that game, and take me away from these two!_

* * *

"O-Okita-san, you've been staring at that table for quite a while…" Yamazaki pointed out as he sipped his small glass of water provided before him. While waiting for his order to arrive, he noticed that Okita Sougo was glaring at the nearby table where China was. "I-is something wrong…"

"… China looks really out of place here." He spoke.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"She just is." Okita said boredly, still staring at the two male _otaku_ panting after her. His hand itched for the handle of his _katana_, but before he could do such, the unexpected happened.

She had placed her hands behind her back and began opening and closing her fist, as if to calm herself down.

_… Seems like she's getting irritated._

Immediately, he grabbed the menu from the table, flipped over to see what they had to offer (he grimaced at how everything looked too _moe_), and raised a hand. "Excuse me." He said in a nonchalant voice.

Her reaction to his call was instantaneous: a quick bow to the two males who were chatting her up (he nearly puked at the sight), showing a bit of the frilly white bloomers she was wearing underneath her short skirt (an instant reaction was felt beneath his pants, which he suppressed just as quickly), and she dashed off to their table in five steps. "Yes, sir?" she asked, hands on the small device she used earlier.

"Get me this." He pointed at the picture, which happened to be Master Lunch Set. Sougo tried not to laugh when she twitched and gave him a lethal glare, but placed in his order anyway. "And these drinks." He pointed at three different flavored beverages.

"… Anything else?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"Says here if I spend at least three thousand, I get to have my photo taken with a maid." At this, all the maids in the café turned to look at him, a look of glee evident on each of their faces. As the only guy there who is very much attractive, and a mini celebrity at that (all of them in the cafe know he is _the_ Shinsengumi First Division Captain), all the maids are _dying_ to have their photos taken with him.

… Even if it means there's a huge chance of them becoming an M in the photo that will be taken.

Kagura shook her head, a smirk tugging her lips. "Oh, you didn't read the fine print. You'll have to pay an extra five hundred yen to play a game with a maid of your choice… and you can only have a photo with her _if_ you win."

"Ah, so that's how it is." He nodded absentmindedly. "Then lemme try." At this, Yamazaki gaped at him, giving him a look as if he had grown an extra arm. "What, 'zaki? Weren't you the one who suggested this place? Might as well go through this whole experience and be over with it."

Discreetly, Kagura rolled her eyes at him. "So, who are you gonna have your photo taken with?" the female Amanto reached for her pocket and was about to show him the photo album of the maids available for the game when he announced his choice loud and clear.

"Obviously, '_Maiko_'," he began, emphasizing on her fake name just to piss her off. "I challenge _you_."

Sounds of surprised and shocked gasps filled the busy maid café that lunch hour.

* * *

_WHY THAT STUPID JERK...! YOU REALLY WANNA EMBARRASS ME!_

Not only did that ass of a tax robber ordered the Master Lunch Set (which would force her to act cute _for him_ when she draws the kanji 'moe' on top of the _omurice_ using ketchup), but he was now c_hallenging her. _On one hand, he _somewhat_ saved her from the clutches of those two other guys, but then...

There was no fucking way in hell she would allow herself to take a photo with him, with _her_ clad in a _maid outfit_.

... And there was also no way in hell she would allow him to force her to do a very embarrassing pose during the photo session, if he _did_ win.

She would make sure that he would be beaten soundly… and that he would _never_ be able to take a photo with her. _EVER._

With this, she smirked, all the while discreetly laughing at him.

"Sure, 'Master'. I'll take you on."

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Notes:

[1] - Obvious reference to Puella Magi Madoka Magica


	4. Chapter 4

Of Flyers and Frills

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_{Part 4} of 5_

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She was screwed.

So. Damn. Screwed.

The fates were certainly cruel towards her today, and _him_ being around was not helping her.

First, the Master Lunch Set he ordered.

Kagura had to endure his stare when she did the kanji writing on his lunch set, but instead of writing 'moe', she had written 'baka Do-S' in _katakana_. When she was done and glared back at him, he shook his head as if fed up with her, and began to dig in. Yamazaki, who was sitting across him, gave out a nervous laughter, and began eating his fried rice set meal. It was evident that the thick tension between his superior and China was unnerving him, for his hand shook at times and he kept dropping his utensils on the plate.

The noise from the table, however, did not bother the customers that much as they themselves were back to chattering with their companions… though the other table that she had been to was a different story.

The two male _otaku_ were crying quite loudly in despair while eating their meal. Kagura did not dare look at them, for fear of both barfing at the sight of them eating like slobs, and them glaring at her as if she had done the most unforgiveable act _ever_. It was obvious that they were just sore losers because they had been losing in their _jankenpyon _games with her, and that bastard sadist was lucky enough to win _all _ten games with her, but hell, did _they_ think she was really as angelic as they make her out to be?

Sure, she _did_ look angelic, but she was far from being innocent.

Hell, she was no longer the innocent girl they made her out to be.

All the innocence had been stripped off her, all because of—

"Oi, 'Maiko'." Intoned Okita, giving her a bored look. "Get me more food. I'll have a parfait."

She placed his order by tapping his choice on her device. "You're not gonna get any more game chances even if you order more—"

"Who says I need more game chances? Can't a customer eat and indulge in your café's dessert selection?"

She shrugged. "Just reminding you."

" 'sides, I'm not the one who lost ten times in a row in a simple game of _jankenpon_." At this, he smirked as he shoved a spoonful of scrambled egg and rice. "Let's get that photo session over and done with after this."

"O-Okita-san, we still have to patrol—" before he could finish his statement, Okita shot him a deadly glare. "O-oh, okay. I'll… just patrol… alone then."

"I'll pay for all of this anyway." Okita shrugged. "The least you can do is go back to patrolling."

"O-okay, sir."

* * *

Half an hour later, after he had finished his dessert and had paid for the lunch (he didn't even flinch at the bill, which was worth seven thousand yen), he was led to a private room that had a photo booth position at the far end of it. He was surprised that the café had managed to get one of those photo booths that was quite popular with the teenagers these days, and he wondered if he was going to go through all ten different _purikura_ sessions with her. As if reading his mind, Kagura rolled her eyes. "You're just gonna get ten different shots with me, then the machine will print one copy for you to keep. We've programmed it to be like that to save time." That was not how it really worked, but as long as he didn't know of it—

"Sounds like a scam." He remarked. "Five hundred yen per shot on one sheet that has ten photos in it."

"… Fine. I can set it to ten individual shots on ten separate photo sheets." She muttered, cursing herself for suddenly giving in to a light threat he threw at her. He _was_ correct with what he said, but damn it, having her photo taken with him _ten times_ in a maid outfit printed in _ten different photo sheets_ was just too much.

_'Damn it, this was going to be awkward.'_ She tried hard not to panic at the thought of them inside the photo booth. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if a bloodbath occurs inside.

They were really not in good terms right now and—

"Can't believe I spent five thousand yen just for that game." He said all of a sudden.

"No one forced you to play that game, so stop whining." She shot back sarcastically. _'I'm surprised why you even bothered paying that much. What the hell are you planning…?'_

He ignored her. "Are we gonna have the pictures taken or not?"

"Fine. Step in." she grabbed the white curtain aside and gestured at him to get inside the booth.

Sougo did what she told him and got in. The photo booth looked just about every _purikura_ machine in existence in Edo, and it also gave him the option to stand or to sit during the time the photo would be taken, as there was a built-in seat inside. However, despite the fact that he got to take a look inside at times (just to see if there were stupid teenagers who used it for _other activities_), he had no idea how to use it.

As if reading his mind, China had given him a look of disbelief. "Just stand or sit there and it will take the ten shots you've requested."

"Fine." When Kagura pressed on the button to take the first shot, she posed in a way that had surprised him: with a peace sign on her right hand, she winked at the camera while he looked on at her, a bored look on his face.

And that was their first shot, taken after the ten second countdown.

For the second one, as it did the countdown, Kagura was preparing for yet another pose when Sougo did the unthinkable: he pulled up her skirt, and upon seeing her frilly bloomers, he pulled it down to take a look at her panties. The Amanto's reaction had been surprising: immediately, she had froze on the spot, all the while gaping at him for what he had done. The camera flashed, and the second shot was of Kagura slowly turning red and Sougo flipping her skirt and staring at her underwear.

"Even your underwear is frilly." He said out loud. "You really match those things—" before he could say anything further, she threw the first punch, which he had blocked using his hands.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" she screamed at him.

That was their third shot, her looking at him angrily while he did the blocking, his poker-faced expression still aimed at her skirt.

"Now, China, I thought you wanted to be cute for the camera." He grabbed her wrist, pulled her in front of him, and grabbed both of her cheeks. She elbowed him in the rib, and he grunted in pain. "Smile for the camera." He said, pulling her cheeks harder.

The camera flashed blinded both of the momentarily, and as soon as they had recovered, Okita had placed a hand on her left breast. She squealed at the contact, and kicked him on the left foot. "Sorry China, your stomping isn't gonna do anything. Steel boots." He squeezed her breast for good measure, earning a squeal of surprise from her.

Once again, the camera flashed, and right after, he placed another hand on her other breast. "I-I'm gonna sue you for sexual harassment…!" she yelled.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." He replied. "It's not as if those two disgusting _otaku_ were not looking at these. They looked like they wanted to devour you right then and there."

"Jealous?" she shot back.

He chose not to answer and instead squeezed harder, making her squeal once more. "And it's not as if I haven't touched these either." He intoned, staring straight ahead at the camera, waiting for it to flash. When it did, he lowered his left hand on her waist and pulled her as close to him as possible.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"… Didn't you want to do this before, doing couple photos inside these photo booths? We have four shots left, so better use it to your advantage, China." Right after he said that, the camera flashed once more and took their photo.

When he just stood there after the last one, Kagura looked up to him in an attempt to taunt him. "Ran out of ide—" she was unable to finish her statement as he pulled her closer than before and pressed a kiss on her lips. She tried to pull away from him as she felt her face flame from embarrassment at the sudden display of affection despite the privacy that the booth offered, but Sougo held her still, placing his right hand on her nape. When the camera flash lit and signalled that the eight picture had been taken, he pulled away to smirk at her.

"Two more."

And with that, he placed an arm over her shoulder and gamely posed for the 9th shot this time around. While Kagura was still flustered from the kiss he gave her, he looked very smug for the camera. As the camera flashed, he let her go and started for the curtain leading back to the room. "You can have the last shot if you wa—" seconds later, he found himself pinned down to the attached seat inside the photo booth, China straddling him as she sat _conveniently_ on his crotch, her hands placed on shoulders to prevent him from sitting up and pushing her away. As he struggled to get her off of him, she silenced him with a kiss, just as soon as the camera flashed for the final time.

She was still kissing him long after the photo booth began printing the ten photos it had taken, and when she had pulled away, Kagura was quite satisfied to see Okita Sougo blushing like mad, gaping at her as if she had grown an extra appendage.

"Two can play at that game, _Sougo_."

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One more chapter, and this fic is done. The next part has adult situations, so the version to be posted will be the cut version as to comply with the site rules. Links for the uncensored version will be provided to the readers who want to see the other one.

Thanks for reading!


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